Big Rad
05-13-2005, 03:32 AM
Since we are just kickin back, sucking down some cold ones.....Me I know I like mine hard with names like chivas and crown....on ice...
I gotta relate this ailment to y'all folks. Neva mind that it seems that every time that old FHB goes down I seem to get some sympathetic type ailment. I wouldn't even be writing this exceptin I know he's gettin better..ergo I'm gettin better......But I had a lump in the back of my head that seemed to just appear one day. Well the wifee noticed it and asked about it and I did the "man thing" and said "aww aint nothin..Quit hassling me and get my dinner on the table" ( thats a straight up lie but it sure sounds good in the telling). I was sitting at the computer getting my evening dose of P&S when the wife appeared suddenly behind my shoulder ( She employed the woman cloaking device to sneak up on me and make sure I wasn't doin the cyber nasty online...She watches too much Oprah and divorce court) Well she looked at the lump on the back of my head and said honey it looks like it got bigger That startled me out of my "Man Reclining" position.....cold one in hand other hand in close proximity to the man package....Actually for me it that spot where the belt buckle has been digging into this sex machines battery pack. I looked up with a slightly dazed look on my face cause I think she said something about sex.....HUH?
In remembering, I should have known something foul was afoot because everything went to that slow motion, six million dollar man running fast perception of movement sense. I see her hand reaching out to caress my face. Oh baby she is going past the casual cheek caress and is going straight for the ear rub!.........Can someone out there call me dumb azz? DOUGH!!! She was reaching for the lump on the back of my head.
Women don't seem to realize that we don't go to the doctors because we are stubborn. NOOOOO, we don't go because as we grew into men we realized that most of the time the aches and pains just healed themselves the majority of the time by sheer testosterone willpower. Yeah the arm might be broke in four places but I can still flex my fingers and I can bend it at the joint...It'll heal itself.....can I get an A-men? That deep hacking chest cough, sure it might be the flu but I'll cut back on the smoking a bit..I'll get better......Can y'all say Hell yeah?....
Well she touched it and said those fateful words that men dread world wide..."Honey, you need to get that checked out." I don't know whether yours do this but mine adds a little teaser to 12/0 offset J-hook....She says "I'm getting worried about that lump. Promise me you'll get it checked out". I don't know if it was the physical touch or iffn it was the mental hook-line and sinker I swallowed, but I know that the lump that lived on the back of my head for six months that was the size of a dime, grew to the size of orange in three days. By the fifth day I was writhing in my bed bathed in a cold sweat with a growth that was threatening to extend down into my shoulders. But I will say that I still met BubbaBlue and Tunafish at SPSP for a last gasp chance at a late season striper.
Monday found me in my doctors office, reduced from a strong manly fisherman type dude to an unsure teary eyed shell of my former self. Begging the doc for some meds. Doc says Mr. Big Rad you look to be in a great deal of discomfort.....I gave the doc my deep down in my chest junkyard dog, I'm gonna rip off yo nut sack growl if you don't get to steppin...and the time slow-down thing happened again....Y'all gotta remember that I was prcessing information at a primative level....All I heard her say was I'll prescribe you something for the pain. I didn't hear her say the part about examining the growth. I just saw the hands reaching out to comfort me. She touched the mass firmly, did I say firmly?, with both hands.....and I think I went blind. I praise My Great God In Heaven that I did not scream like a small female child. My wife assured me that it was a manly yell full of the threat of violence and physical harm........All I remember her saying is "Honey, it's okay to cry".
Day 8 has me laying in the ER at Howard County General with an emergency IV with four needles added "to speed the relief" HA! Then the two needles in the head that were to numb the area.....But Doc you just gave me the needles so why are you cutting me already? HEY I "M FEELING THAT CUTTING THING YA GOT GOING ON!!! HEY SINCE WHEN DID A SOUP SPOON BECOME PART OF ER EQUIPMENT.......I would like to say that at this point the meds kick in and the scene fades to black, but that would be a lie. This woman is in the back of my head scooping it out like she is making melon balls I hear "Mr Big Rad we have a little bit more than we are used to seeing so we are scooping out what appears to be a small cyst. Now I'm going to be squeezing out some of the infection... My torturer speaks and all I do is try to keep the tears from falling from my eyes.
I don't know all that went on but she packed some packing (rope) into what would be an open wound on the back of my head and said you can sit up in 20 minutes
I got home a half hour later and all them drugs kicked in...whoopeee doopeee.....that was Tuesday. Today, I stopped taking the pain meds so I could take MY pain meds and I guess thats why I'm sitting here at this computer at 2:30 am writing this mess and feeling no pain? Those who know will make sense of that last line.....
Did I tell y'all that if you think you have a lump don't let your wife touch it cause it'll grow into an abcesss that will have you taking drugs that make it so you can't go out into the sun and have to walk around with a four inch slice of an open wound on the back of your head for two weeks so you can't go fishing or to work......Damn this SUXS!! Maybe the drum will come in and I'll get to catch me one. Never did that before......... :rolleyes:
I gotta relate this ailment to y'all folks. Neva mind that it seems that every time that old FHB goes down I seem to get some sympathetic type ailment. I wouldn't even be writing this exceptin I know he's gettin better..ergo I'm gettin better......But I had a lump in the back of my head that seemed to just appear one day. Well the wifee noticed it and asked about it and I did the "man thing" and said "aww aint nothin..Quit hassling me and get my dinner on the table" ( thats a straight up lie but it sure sounds good in the telling). I was sitting at the computer getting my evening dose of P&S when the wife appeared suddenly behind my shoulder ( She employed the woman cloaking device to sneak up on me and make sure I wasn't doin the cyber nasty online...She watches too much Oprah and divorce court) Well she looked at the lump on the back of my head and said honey it looks like it got bigger That startled me out of my "Man Reclining" position.....cold one in hand other hand in close proximity to the man package....Actually for me it that spot where the belt buckle has been digging into this sex machines battery pack. I looked up with a slightly dazed look on my face cause I think she said something about sex.....HUH?
In remembering, I should have known something foul was afoot because everything went to that slow motion, six million dollar man running fast perception of movement sense. I see her hand reaching out to caress my face. Oh baby she is going past the casual cheek caress and is going straight for the ear rub!.........Can someone out there call me dumb azz? DOUGH!!! She was reaching for the lump on the back of my head.
Women don't seem to realize that we don't go to the doctors because we are stubborn. NOOOOO, we don't go because as we grew into men we realized that most of the time the aches and pains just healed themselves the majority of the time by sheer testosterone willpower. Yeah the arm might be broke in four places but I can still flex my fingers and I can bend it at the joint...It'll heal itself.....can I get an A-men? That deep hacking chest cough, sure it might be the flu but I'll cut back on the smoking a bit..I'll get better......Can y'all say Hell yeah?....
Well she touched it and said those fateful words that men dread world wide..."Honey, you need to get that checked out." I don't know whether yours do this but mine adds a little teaser to 12/0 offset J-hook....She says "I'm getting worried about that lump. Promise me you'll get it checked out". I don't know if it was the physical touch or iffn it was the mental hook-line and sinker I swallowed, but I know that the lump that lived on the back of my head for six months that was the size of a dime, grew to the size of orange in three days. By the fifth day I was writhing in my bed bathed in a cold sweat with a growth that was threatening to extend down into my shoulders. But I will say that I still met BubbaBlue and Tunafish at SPSP for a last gasp chance at a late season striper.
Monday found me in my doctors office, reduced from a strong manly fisherman type dude to an unsure teary eyed shell of my former self. Begging the doc for some meds. Doc says Mr. Big Rad you look to be in a great deal of discomfort.....I gave the doc my deep down in my chest junkyard dog, I'm gonna rip off yo nut sack growl if you don't get to steppin...and the time slow-down thing happened again....Y'all gotta remember that I was prcessing information at a primative level....All I heard her say was I'll prescribe you something for the pain. I didn't hear her say the part about examining the growth. I just saw the hands reaching out to comfort me. She touched the mass firmly, did I say firmly?, with both hands.....and I think I went blind. I praise My Great God In Heaven that I did not scream like a small female child. My wife assured me that it was a manly yell full of the threat of violence and physical harm........All I remember her saying is "Honey, it's okay to cry".
Day 8 has me laying in the ER at Howard County General with an emergency IV with four needles added "to speed the relief" HA! Then the two needles in the head that were to numb the area.....But Doc you just gave me the needles so why are you cutting me already? HEY I "M FEELING THAT CUTTING THING YA GOT GOING ON!!! HEY SINCE WHEN DID A SOUP SPOON BECOME PART OF ER EQUIPMENT.......I would like to say that at this point the meds kick in and the scene fades to black, but that would be a lie. This woman is in the back of my head scooping it out like she is making melon balls I hear "Mr Big Rad we have a little bit more than we are used to seeing so we are scooping out what appears to be a small cyst. Now I'm going to be squeezing out some of the infection... My torturer speaks and all I do is try to keep the tears from falling from my eyes.
I don't know all that went on but she packed some packing (rope) into what would be an open wound on the back of my head and said you can sit up in 20 minutes
I got home a half hour later and all them drugs kicked in...whoopeee doopeee.....that was Tuesday. Today, I stopped taking the pain meds so I could take MY pain meds and I guess thats why I'm sitting here at this computer at 2:30 am writing this mess and feeling no pain? Those who know will make sense of that last line.....
Did I tell y'all that if you think you have a lump don't let your wife touch it cause it'll grow into an abcesss that will have you taking drugs that make it so you can't go out into the sun and have to walk around with a four inch slice of an open wound on the back of your head for two weeks so you can't go fishing or to work......Damn this SUXS!! Maybe the drum will come in and I'll get to catch me one. Never did that before......... :rolleyes: