Orest
10-26-2005, 02:46 PM
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years
old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor,
it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but
notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double
Mint Twins are Coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a
sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to
smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
"William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain
myself.BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a
sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'...
I just lost it."
The Blonde Year in Review
January? Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February? Ordered new drapes for her computer because it had windows.
March? Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because
the box said "2-4 years."
April? Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May? Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water wouldn't f! it into
the little packet.
June? Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope
July? After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to
the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August? Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their
locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top
was down.
September? When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October? Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.
November? Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour
per pound and she weighed 120.
December? Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone
button.
A busy morning!
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would
be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another
patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in a conversation and I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning,
as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then
inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer
knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning,
even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind.
Just had to share it with you.
Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."
bridge to Hawaii
Man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.
The man said, "Build a so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required
to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside,
what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how to make a woman
truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years
old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor,
it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but
notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double
Mint Twins are Coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a
sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to
smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
"William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain
myself.BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a
sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'...
I just lost it."
The Blonde Year in Review
January? Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February? Ordered new drapes for her computer because it had windows.
March? Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because
the box said "2-4 years."
April? Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May? Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water wouldn't f! it into
the little packet.
June? Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope
July? After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to
the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August? Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their
locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top
was down.
September? When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October? Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.
November? Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour
per pound and she weighed 120.
December? Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone
button.
A busy morning!
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would
be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another
patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in a conversation and I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning,
as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then
inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer
knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning,
even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there are some that come along that have an important message, and this is one of those kind.
Just had to share it with you.
Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."
bridge to Hawaii
Man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.
The man said, "Build a so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required
to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside,
what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how to make a woman
truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"