A good Joke

[matt anderson]

Two ball players sitting on the feild

One sais do you think there is baseball in heven?

the other sais the first one to go will come back and tell the other

ok he sais

One dies and comes back .....he sais i got some good and bad news

What?

Oh theres baseball

And ?

your pitching Next week:) :D ;) :rolleyes: :cool:

[Blackbird]

:D DOG FOR SALE

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of
house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the
backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador
retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk
when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I
told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me
jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just
retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****.":D

[RuddeDogg]

Good ones.

[TreednNC]

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****.":D


Reminds me...

"Clovus, there aint but one thing what that monkey hates more than a coon, n thats a liein coondog"- Jerry Clowers

[shaggy]

Subject: Give until it hurts

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"About a gallon"

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard. You've been playing golf!"



The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.

It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home "I have something to show
you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"

Have Jeep will travel :D

[matt anderson]

So Johny go's to the park with his dad

Johny's dad tells him to go play hide and seek with a freind whill he talks to aunt betty

Jony runs through the woods and finds his dads car and sees his dad and aunt betty in the car

He runs home and tells his mom

mom sais we will talk over dinner !

later that evning ......

mom sais so Jonhy tell dady what you saw

Jonhy sais I saw you and aunt betty doing what mom and uncle mike do when you go on you fishin trips:D :D :D :D

[MANDINGO]

So Johny go's to the park with his dad

Johny's dad tells him to go play hide and seek with a freind whill he talks to aunt betty

Jony runs through the woods and finds his dads car and sees his dad and aunt betty in the car

He runs home and tells his mom

mom sais we will talk over dinner !

later that evning ......

mom sais so Jonhy tell dady what you saw

Jonhy sais I saw you and aunt betty doing what mom and uncle mike do when you go on you fishin trips:D :D :D :D
THATS GOOD