Hollywood Squares

[Blue Heron]

> If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will
> bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the
> days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and
> clever, not scripted and often dull as they are now.
>
> Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
>
> Please note: most, if not all, of those answering the questions are now
> gone!
>
>
>> > > Q. Do female frogs croak?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
>>enough.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
>> > > should
>>you be?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
>
>> > > A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
>>or a woman?
>
>> > > A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. According to Cosmo Magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party
>>and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him
>>if he's married?
>
>> > > A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love
>>You"?
>
>> > > A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
>> > > twenty.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "I Can't Get Enough"?
>
>> > > A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
>>apartment.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
>>hand while talking?
>
>> > > A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter,
>> > > and
>> I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
>>to get any during the first year?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>
>> > > A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
>>camps. One is politics. What is the other?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
>>goose do?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting
>>into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!
>>Poo!" What does this mean?
>
>> > > A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
>>head, what was he trying to do?
>
>> > > A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
>>and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>
>> > > A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>> > >
>
>> > > Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
>>in bed?
>
>> > > A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
>