Why Parents Drink

[Bigfisherman]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercings, and tattoos, and
tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion...Dad,
she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it w ith the other people that
live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves
it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son
John



P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

[basstardo]

Man, I wish I'd have thought of that when I brought my report card home! :eek:

[Orest]

in so many ways.

[Bigfisherman]

I think I'd have gotten in more trouble for the letter than the report card. I doubt the safe to come home call would have been made.:D

[jcreamer]

I think I'd have gotten in more trouble for the letter than the report card. I doubt the safe to come home call would have been made.:D

me too. My dad would have packed my bags and sent them to me.

[sprtsracer]

I think my father would have gotten only as far as the "piercings" and "tattoos" and never would have seen the rest of the letter. Then, after my mother got out of the cardiac unit, I would have been a GONER!

[Shooter]

Letter to son

Dear son
No worries and it is safe for you to come home, your mother and I feel as if we have let you down by the grades on your report card. We have come up with a fix, we now see the need to get you some extra help in turning this all around. We have checked into what we feel will fix all of your problems so you will not have any more worries on your part.

Your loving parents.










P.S. It's called Military School :eek:

[Jesse Lockowitz]

my dad woulda called to tell me its safe to come home, and when i got there, the locks would be changed...he's cruel like that :D



Jesse

[RuddeDogg]

Yep that was good.

[ibd fossil]

Never left a letter like that or any letter when I left. But my dad told me at a young age, 8 or 9, "If you EVER get arrested and go to jail, all you can expect from me is a can of soup and a spoon." Well I did and he lived up to his words, he visited me and all I received was a can of Cream of Mushroom and a spoon. Spent the weekend locked in the local police lockup, left home very soon after that.