West Virginia Hunter

[sprtsracer]

A "good ole boy" (Buford) from WV went out hunting during the opening of bear season. He bagged one, and was dragging it out of the woods when he came upon the game warden, who asked to see his license. After explaining to the warden that he didn't "have no license", his gun was confiscated, the bear was taken, and he was issued a ticket and told never to hunt without a license again or he would go straight to jail.

Sure enough, Buford went to the local hardware store and got himself a hunting license and bought him a new gun. He went out the next day and bagged another bear. As he was dragging it out of the woods, he came upon the same game warden, who asked to see his license. Proudly, Buford displayed his license, and the game warden asked, "Where's your bear stamp?" "I ain't got no bear stamp", replied Buford. Whereupon, the game warden confiscated his new gun and the bear, and admonished him to never hunt for bear again without a bear stamp.

Not willing to give up, Buford went back to the hardware store, got himself a bear stamp and a new gun. Early the next morning, Buford was dragging a bear out of the woods when, sure enough, there stood the game warden. Buford again proudly whipped out his hunting license and pointed happily at the bear stamp. The warden looked everything over and pronounced everything to be in order, and was looking over the carcass. After a couple of minutes, the warden asked, "Tell me something, Buford, I see this bear was shot right between the eyes. How many shots did you take at him?"

"Only one", exclaimed Buford, looking very cocky.

"Well why are there also bullet wounds in both his front paws?", asked the warden.

"Well, ya see officer, when I hit him with my spotlight, he reared up on his hind legs and threw both paws in front of his eyes, and that's when I nailed him!"

You can now reach Buford at PO Drawer 901, c/o Huttonsville Correctional Center, Beverly, WV.

[RuddeDogg]

That's good.

[Out Sick]

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just
grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She
says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and
reel?'

He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says,
'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and
10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale
this week for only $20.00.

'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter', she says. I'll take it!' As she opens her
purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the
blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The clerk rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.'
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the
rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'

He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is
$11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.'