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thekingfeeder
07-03-2009, 06:52 PM
Ok, so I am enjoying my morning smoke out on my back porch today. Wind coming off the pond was a little cool, I was enjoying it. As I sit there thinking about what I was going to do today, my wife comes running out the house staring at me like I slapped her momma! She says in the most determined voice she could muster, "You need to go clean that tub!" At the same time a cat comes flying by me almost hitting me. this poor feline hits the ground running trying to get back inside. According to my wife, this is not going to happen.

I finish my cigarette and figure I will head inside to see what all the fuss is about. When I walk in my wife is standing there. Her shoulders shudder every so often that sends her entire body into convulsions of sorts. You know the one. When your wife shudders and always ends in her standing on one leg, face all puckered up it looks like she is eating a lemon. Well, when she could, she would keep repeating, "You will be cleaning that tub!" With the perfectly space repeating of that phrase, I would have thought she was attempting to audition for a remake of Rainman.

I head to the bathroom to see what all the fuss is about... Apparently, the cat killed a small rabbit, drug it through the dog door, and nestled down proudly in the tub to partake of his conquest. By the time my wife saw it, there was only half of the rabbit left. All of the glory that goes with every thought of 1/2 a rabbit was smeared, trampled, or slung about in that tub. It really looked like a mini murder scene. I guess it was of sorts.

I go find my wife. She is still traumatized. LMAO. Now she is only repeating, "I don't want to find the head!" I tease and let her know we probably won't find it until we crawl into bed. I let her know that if she feels something wet on her neck tonight, it probably won't be me kissing her. LMAO Hindsight, not a very good thing to tease about at the moment.

I cleaned the tub, discarded the remains, and as far as I know am now on the cats sh*t list. I need to watch my back for a while. I think the cat is more vengeful then my wife. Wish I would have thought about that before I cleaned the remains up.

Now this cat that she found eating breakfast with bugs this morning is not a hunter. He will be just as happy to allow mice to ride his back if they get tired. Now, the other cat I affectionately refer to as fish hook (another story), is a HUNTER. We can only assume, partly wishful thinking, that fish hook stalked the rabbit, killed it, and started to eat it. Along comes Dexter checking it out. We are hoping that Dexter carried it in and took it to the tub.

Well, that is better than thinking we will roll over in the middle of the night and find a cat staring at us on the dresser with a rabbit head in its mouth.

Robert

RuddeDogg
07-03-2009, 07:16 PM
LAMO BIGG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's great. Kinda reminds me of the other day when Boss Dogg came to me and said, "what is this bump?" which was on the back of her leg which see couldn't see. "Let me see." "Well honey this bump has legs.........". It was the first thing that came into my mind. NOTE to self.......SELF!!!!! Think before you speak, it will hurt alot less. BTW, it was just a bug bite.

thekingfeeder
07-03-2009, 09:38 PM
Then there was the time that my wife found a mouse, shut all the cabinet doors, pulled open a drawer and threw fish hook into the drawer. She held her hand over the drawer so the cat had to jump into the cabinet to get out. Wasn't very long before that cat was tearing everything up in those cabinets to get at that mouse. Finally things calmed down. My wife opened the cabinet, out sprung the cat with a mouse in its mouth. Right about now I should mention fish hook hides out under our bed. That cat ran out the kitchen through the living room and tried to make its way into the bedroom. My wife started SCREAMING, "GET HIM!!!!"

I looked at my wife and asked her, "What did you expect him to do? Catch the mouse and gingerly wait for you to bring a bag over so he could drop it in for you!?" You gave him a treat and he is trying to find his hide out to eat it. I actually had to catch a wet, scared mouse under the bed while trying to avoid being clawed by a hyper cat with mouse fur on his breath. Not what I really wanted to do that night.

Robert

BubbaHoTep
07-03-2009, 10:40 PM
Funny stories, guys!

I dropped a mud minnow on the ground last week, and had a very difficult time convincing my dachshund to let go. They're hardy little buggers because that one survived being inside the dog's mouth while I was pulling on the minnow's tail. My dog never attacks things to kill. He only wants to play.

racewire20
07-03-2009, 11:37 PM
That's funny Robert. We had a cat a couple of years ago that was bringing home baby rabbits for a while. My wife would save them and call some lady that took care of and rehabilitated them. One day the cat was coming across the neighbors yard with something squealing it's head off. Never knew rabbits could squeal like that. Now if only I could get something to drag the cats off.

thekingfeeder
07-03-2009, 11:47 PM
Never knew rabbits could squeal like that.

Think of all the funny noises you would make no one knew about if a tiger had you by the knap of the neck... LMAO:D:beer::D

Robert