What to do when your newlywed wife won't look for a job

[ro-h2o]

I don't know how to deal with this she wont leave the house to look for a job. She thinks that the job fairy is going to come and land in her lap. I NEED HELP!

[jasonr]

Get a divorce! ASAP!

She will never change, if shes slacking on this she's gonna slack on everything the rest of her life. Ask me how I know :D Im happily divorced for just such reasons.

My ex wife is still at the same job she started back in high school. I had a job lined up for her where she would have started at $75k. All she had to do was call and the job was hers. She never did. Pissed me off beyond repair.

[Jigmaster]

Get a divorce! ASAP!

She will never change, if shes slacking on this she's gonna slack on everything the rest of her life. Ask me how I know :D Im happily divorced for just such reasons.

My ex wife is still at the same job she started back in high school. I had a job lined up for her where she would have started at $75k. All she had to do was call and the job was hers. She never did. Pissed me off beyond repair.

OMG everyone knows it takes two in this economy unless you make 100k plus and have minimal bills.

Run dont walk! she will only get fat and Bitchy on top of this!!!

It happened to my Army buddy.

Just so happens while he was deployed his parents went to check on his place, first hearing screams they thought someone was being Killed.

Only to walk in on his newlywed and the Hatian neighbor. Guy wasn't even gone 3 damn weeks yet.

She didnt want to work either......Go figure

Comes down to Motivation or missguided motivation in this case.

Anullment iis in order....she wont even be in line for half.

[Out Sick]

It is what it is dude. If you don't say something then its on you. If you draw the line then its on her. Pick or choose buddy, pick or choose. The ball is your court. Thats pretty serious stuff and your not gonna figure it out on a fishing forum but say what needs to be said. You don't wanna leave something that was that obviously great at one time with regrets. Your a Christian, you'll know what to do. Your the only one that can help yourself. I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I must have had tooo many :beer::beer::beer:to be giving this advice. Good Luck you Obama Hater. :p

Ben:beer:

[sprtsracer]

Do some of your own "networking" for her! Set her up with an interview if possible. If she doesn't want to do that, then tell her where the closest homeless shelter and food kitchen is, and send her packing!!! Sorry...sounds tough, but that's reality!

[lil red jeep]

I hate to sound like a broken record, but to quote myself in your bulldog thread;
" use a Tritronic multiple setting shock collar on dogs who showed excessive aggression towards other dogs. I don't see why it wouldn't work attached to the Mrs."

Really, these things are motivators!

[jay b]

From a guy that's been happily married for 24 yrs. the key to any relationship that you want to keep is communication. The old saying of 'don't ever go to bed mad' works, just tell her what's on your mind. Obviously you've gone past the point of wanting to share your lives together being that you're married so anything should be fair game when it comes to conversation. It might wind up in a little fussing and cussing but in the long run you'll be glad you did it.

[Jigmaster]

Do some of your own "networking" for her! Set her up with an interview if possible. If she doesn't want to do that, then tell her where the closest homeless shelter and food kitchen is, and send her packing!!! Sorry...sounds tough, but that's reality!

Larry, c-mon man Winn Dixie? Could have gotten one of those Publix apps. at least.

If you had to do over again im sure it would have been the Fishin Shack, Howards or The Fishin Hole......

Just think of the possibilities:rolleyes:

[Dogg Fish]

If one of the spouses is pitching in (income, housework, yardwork, grocery shopping, etc.) 40%, well, maybe ok. But if the wife is pitching in 10 or 20 %, divorce her ass. She is a freeloader and is taking advantage of you. My second wife was like that and it drove me crazy. Divorce from that bitch was SWEET. Go for it, before you get totally miserable.

[basstardo]

Fortunately, my wife is running a business of her own, has another job now that she can work from home and still run the business, and takes care of the house and kid. Hell, she even cuts the grass. :D I dated a girl that was lazy as the day is long once. Like Dogg Fish said, divorce her ass, or kick her out. She sat around watching TV and smoking cigs all day while I worked to pay for everything. Good times. :rolleyes:

[Jigmaster]

[QUOTE=basstardo;517924]Fortunately, my wife is running a business of her own, has another job now that she can work from home and still run the business, and takes care of the house and kid. Hell, she even cuts the grass. :D


Does she have a Seester?:D

[Jesse Lockowitz]

http://media.vintagecotton.com/shirt/95/pimp_hand04.gif

sry, just tryin to bring a lil humor to a bad situation. but seriously :p

[Thrifty Angler]

Expectations should always be laid out pre vs post nuptials.

If she was jobless when you got married...you must keep in mind that...
If ya marry an unemployed individual....ya shouldn't expect them to change for you. Ya have to accept them as they were. At least that's what Judge Judy says. :rolleyes:

Give her some time. If all else fails...contact FL Fisherman. I believe he has a great deal of experience with short marriages :eek: ...and as such...may have a lawyer on retainer. :rolleyes: You might be able to get a discount on fees. :D

[J_Lannon]

Is it possible that she have a confidence problem. If so, pump her up a little and see where it takes her.

If she's a dead beat, "trade her in" ..... Budget Boats has some great deals going.:D

[lil red jeep]

I STILL vote for the Shock Collar!

[Mark G]

I don't know how to deal with this she wont leave the house to look for a job. She thinks that the job ferry is going to come and land in her lap. I NEED HELP!

Looking for work can be a lot more work and more depressing than most jobs actually are.

The real question--if offered a reasonable employment opportunity-- would she take it ?????


Does she have a previous work history ? If not, that should be, or perhaps should have been a serious warning sign....

[RuddeDogg]

It is what it is dude. If you don't say something then its on you. If you draw the line then its on her. Pick or choose buddy, pick or choose. The ball is your court. Thats pretty serious stuff and your not gonna figure it out on a fishing forum but say what needs to be said. You don't wanna leave something that was that obviously great at one time with regrets. Your a Christian, you'll know what to do. Your the only one that can help yourself. I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I must have had tooo many :beer::beer::beer:to be giving this advice. Good Luck you Obama Hater. :p

Ben:beer:

Yep, well said.

[ledweightII]

either join her on the couch and get FAT...or cut the cable and internet OFF...if neither one of those dont work cut the electricty OFF and stay gone fishin'...somethin will CHANGE for sure...good luck.

p.s.
mine left before i could wrap the dog collar 'round her neck..dang!

[RuddeDogg]

Like others have said, S**T or get off the pot. Plain and simple. You BOTH have to put in a 100% or it don't work. You could do what I have done in the past. "You don't want to work, fine....I'll get two jobs, but I had DAM well better to be able to eat off my kitchen floor!!!!!"

[racewire20]

Communication!! Get it out on the table. Find out what she intends to do. Use your common sense. You know if she is being truthful, and if she isn't, show her the door. Marriage is an equal opportunity employer, both should pull their own weight in some form or fashion. A relationship with the load more on one side than the other is doomed for derailment.

[Peixaria]

I read most of this thread only to find Locowitz beat me to it. May your pimp hand be strong. Damn I hate being late.

[ro-h2o]

She had a long term job b/4 this econonic shipwreck, It just scares the crap out of me when she has all the support in the world and wont go out and grab a job. My rents love her, her rents love her she even had someone who trains companies on there budjet and ethics that wrote her resume for her and she still would not take her lead. Bottom line to me is I love her and it kills me to see her like this. She is an only child and has been spoiled her whole life. I am at my wits end. I have tryed pumping her up, giving her lists of places to apply at, called places for her to apply at and all I get is the deer in the headlight look.

[jasonr]

She had a long term job b/4 this econonic shipwreck, It just scares the crap out of me when she has all the support in the world and wont go out and grab a job. My rents love her, her rents love her she even had someone who trains companies on there budjet and ethics that wrote her resume for her and she still would not take her lead. Bottom line to me is I love her and it kills me to see her like this. She is an only child and has been spoiled her whole life. I am at my wits end. I have tryed pumping her up, giving her lists of places to apply at, called places for her to apply at and all I get is the deer in the headlight look.

See thats the big problem.

Sounds like she is used to having things handed to her. Im not trying to bad mouth her in anyway but I know exactally where youre coming from man. After 2 years of going through the same thing. I gave up and told her to kick rocks. Stuff like this will stress the whole marriage out bud.

[Shooter]

JASONR,,, all I want to know is do ya still have that number for THAT JOB??? I will drive my wife to that one and then go fishing :D

[jasonr]

I wish I did man. If I didnt have such a good job at the time I would have gone for it myself haha.

She would have been freelancing as a medical biller/coder turning doctor talk into numbers for insurance companies. Funny thing is doctors and hospitals are cutting back on people they "employ" and going after the people who work for themselves doing this because its cheaper for them so she would actually be making even more now. The faster you can code the more you make because you get paid by report if I remember correctly.

[Blloyd]

My rents love her, her rents love her...

I don't have much to add to what's already been said. I'm just curious as to what "rents" are?

[jasonr]

Parents

[Mark G]

She had a long term job b/4 this econonic shipwreck, It just scares the crap out of me when she has all the support in the world and wont go out and grab a job. My rents love her, her rents love her she even had someone who trains companies on there budjet and ethics that wrote her resume for her and she still would not take her lead. Bottom line to me is I love her and it kills me to see her like this. She is an only child and has been spoiled her whole life. I am at my wits end. I have tryed pumping her up, giving her lists of places to apply at, called places for her to apply at and all I get is the deer in the headlight look.

How long has she been out of work ? It's good that she has a work history, and she'll come around, I think, but who currently controls the finances ?? If you want to get thru to her that she needs to help herself-- your going to have to take control of the finances, and not fork over money for things she "likes" but doesn't necessarily need. It probably won't work if either her or your parents are going to help her out, just as a heads up.

Depending on the circumstances in which she lost her previous job, she could be going thru a serious bout of depression-- not something you want to simply dismiss as laziness or slacking off.

Show her all the patience you can if that's the case, but not to the point where you put your own mental health at jeapordy. There is help if she needs it.

[RuddeDogg]

Well ya could try this also. I was with a girl for 3yrs and we had our own checking accounts and a house account. We both had fulltime jobs. Over something really trvial and stupid, she told her boss infront of his bosses, very colorfully I might add, that he should do something to himself and quit. After she camled down she went back and attempted to apologize, which her boss wanted nothing to do with, can't say that I balme him and she was out of work. NOW.....here comes the part that had me twisted. She expected ME to pick up her bills, Cell phone, car insurance, car payment etc. Everything that happend to her was some body elses fault. She wouldn't take responsibility for what she did. Anyway, I refused to pay her way, and when her phone got cut off, insurance cancelled and car repoed she finally saw the LIGHT and went out and got a job. Boss Dogg and I have the account thing. Hers, mine and the house. Things have gotten really tight as she was fired due to health reasons, yeah her boss was stupid enough to say that to her face. Boss's attorney is handling that. I don't mind paying the pills as I can becuase it wasn't her fault she got fired. If it was you can be sure that things would be different.