# The real, honest, un-made-up truth about the northern snakehead.!!!



## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

However bad that you feared it would get - it's much worse......the snakeheads walk amongst us!!!!










Not only can they live out of water for five days - they are genetically similar to humans and can cross-breed with them! Any children snakeheads that are sired in this matter need to be handed over to the DNR to be entered into a contest. First prize is $200.00 or you could win cool stuff like a _lighter_ or an extra large "T" that says - _"my wife was impregnated by a snakehead and all I got was this lousy t shirt!"_

If you see one walking up your street - do not panic! It's already too late and YOU will die! Just lay down and be eaten - you can help by making little cuts in your arms to draw blood to hasten the attack!









*Stupid cops like this will only make things worse - JUST LIKE in the movies!*

Snakeheads will burrow through stone or bricks to eat your family! Offer them the family pet and escape through the back yard! Forget about going back - you will be murdered and they will lay their eggs in your intestines! 

Do not "think through" your plans to escape!!!! Snakeheads can _read your thoughts_ and will use this to full advantage, Instead, react in a seemingly arbitrary and confounding manner. Additionally, you can throw them off by "flatulence" or playing a musical instrument (like a flute) VERY badly. 

Do not make a deal with a group of angry snakeheads in order to save your life!!!!! They enjoy making you "feel" safe only to devour you when your back is turned. 









*Abandon any hot chick within your party who falls and twists her ankle - this is the oldest trick in the book!!!! 
*
Snakeheads can "take over" people you know like body snatchers. If members of your family cannot remember things like "who won American idol" they must be immediately decapitated and have their picture posted on the DNR website!!!

Snakeheads are using the inter-city sewers for migration. Pour cement in all basement floor drains and keep all toilets stopped up with an old sock. There may already my snakeheads living under your house that are over 8' long! They are harmless - its the baby ones that swim up the toilet and nip your unmentionables that need to be feared!!!










Oh yes, remove ALL SH's from local fishing holes and be sure and burn them as they often play dead in order to kill you in your sleep! 

Hope this helps!


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## Twinkies (Jul 1, 2011)

Wow, now thats some good SH$T!

Thanks for the entertainment.


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

What's truly horrifying here are the numerous uncorrected grammatical errors!


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## shelties1 (Aug 5, 2004)

it was too funny to even notice the grammar errors, lol


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

This must be what Twinkies meant in that other thread...

Now you have me worried that they might be right.


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

Solid7, the truth of the matter is that we are bound to kneel before our new evil over-lord, masters......we deserve this - we have failed as a species. 











Humans will be forever enshrined for all posterity, like the mammoth and the trilobite......curiosities of an era shrouded in mystery and innuendo ~










On a side note, the "cave" chick eating the apple is actually not bad looking! :beer:


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Stinky_Pete said:


> On a side note, the "cave" chick eating the apple is actually not bad looking! :beer:


And the one picking fleas would do in a pinch...


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

solid7 said:


> And the one picking fleas would do in a pinch...


Just gift her with "frontline" first. That - and a toothbrush.......yuck!


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Stinky_Pete said:


> Just gift her with "frontline" first. That - and a toothbrush.......yuck!


You're never gonna get a date bein' picky (pun) like that.

You don't have to kiss her - or keep her.


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

solid7 said:


> You're never gonna get a date bein' picky (pun) like that.
> 
> You don't have to kiss her - or keep her.


.......and a weed-whacker!


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

The correct implement is....

BUSH HOG


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## Shooter (Nov 14, 2004)

Awww hail,,, when ya get my age you look for one thing in a woman


A Pulse


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## RuddeDogg (Mar 20, 2004)

Way too funny


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

^^^^This is NOT funny......we are talking about the impending demise of all **** sapiens! 

Sicko.


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Stinky_Pete said:


> ^^^^This is NOT funny......we are talking about the impending demise of all **** sapiens!
> 
> Sicko.


This is not a forum to talk about wiping out homos! (right?)


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## wanderboy (May 26, 2011)

not if one of the network start a "The Next Cage Master: Carp vs. Snakehead - Death Match" reality show!


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## Twinkies (Jul 1, 2011)

I've got my money on the carp!


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey, knock off all the off-topic CARP!!!!


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