# Finally Learned how to Fish. (Many Thanks to FTG)



## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Well, sometimes you just need to pay attention to what other people are doing. I learned today how to fish the RIGHT way.

All along, I was only doing just a couple of things wrong. Most of it was my attitude. Seems I was trying too hard to think about what a fish might do, when the answer was right in front of me the whole time. What I really needed to do, was just tell somebody - or everybody - "Hey! Don't you know who the **** I am?!?"

So after waking up early, I get up, and look for something to wear. I figured just my lucky beach shorts, and a shirt, in case of bad weather, ought to suffice.









Next, I need a watch, so I can figure out what time I need to call the bank, to transfer some funds from my Swiss account for lunch. So I go through my closet, and look for the right one. Hmm... Having some trouble figuring which one goes with my lucky shorts...





















No... None of those. I mean, seriously.... I'm just going to the beach. Let's not get fancy. Alfred, can you grab that one? Yes! That's the one!









So with my personal effects in tow, I head to the garage to line up some tackle. First the reels. Now, I'm not one to brag, but I've got more reels than most people have ants in their lawn. Most of my reels are custom built by my super good friend #### ##### , who owns ######## ####, in ########, NC. He's also my best good casting buddy. So where to start?


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## cutbait91 (Nov 9, 2009)

LMFAO!!!! thanks soild7 i just spit my drink all over my computer screen!


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

I'll just take a couple. Heck, they're mine, and they're better than what most every other sorry badger on the beach has, so whatever will work. I'll just pick one to match my watch today.


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

So now, I've got to just grab a few dollars, to maybe buy some gas and a new highrise apartment complex behind the Holiday Inn.









Don't want to be like those other sorry asses at the beach, who probably don't make as much in 6 months as I spent on my breakfast today. This should be enough.









Okay, just a bit more, to cover some conspicuous consumption. (however, I never pay retail for anything - gotta stretch your dollars these days)


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## RjTheMetalhead (Dec 3, 2011)

:beer:


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## cutbait91 (Nov 9, 2009)

im cryingopcorn::beer::spam:


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

So now, who am I going to fish with? I can outcast and outfish everyone, everywhere. I think I'll call my friends, "What's Her Face" and "Thingamabobs" (I can never remember which is which) Regardless, they both know better than to even think about challenging me.


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

So I've issued a challenge, and paid for an advertisement in the local paper. Everyone in the continental US is invited to a fish-off, behind the 7-11 on the main drag. Nobody can win, so if you want to just lay your money down and walk away, that's an option. But if you want to try, anyway, I'm a super nice guy, and will probably not call you names. I will still tell you that I'm better than you, but you already know that, so no surprises.

It's noon, and I show up. Don't worry, I've properly deflated the tires to 18 psi.


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Now, first thing I see when I get to the beach, is this:









And I'm like...









DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW THAT THERE COULD BE PIPING PLOVERS HERE, AND THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO DOGS?!?!?


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

Now, I don't want to be long winded, so let's cut to the chase....

Because I can cast over 2 miles, I caught this:

View attachment 10770


And I'm like:

View attachment 10767


And the last thing I saw, was this: (after every single person in a line six blocks long)

View attachment 10769


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

And that's it. I'm the greatest, you are nothing.

THE END


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

I probably left out some details. But I don't like to say too much when I tell a story.


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## jjac (Dec 28, 2012)

Man you are the greatest! We must meet so that I can bow down at your feet and worship!


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

jjac said:


> Man you are the greatest! We must meet so that I can bow down at your feet and worship!


Well, that's really what it's all about, isn't it?


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## Stinky_Pete (Mar 28, 2011)

You have finally flipped your lid!!!

I begged you to get help - you laughed at me!!!


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## surfmom (Nov 3, 2012)

solid7 said:


> Now, first thing I see when I get to the beach, is this:
> 
> View attachment 10766
> 
> ...


 thanks I just snorted my breakfast drink my sister came in to see what the heck I was laughing about ROFL


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## fshnjoe (Sep 11, 2008)

That was the best write up I've seen in a long time!!  but ya left out the best factor ,We only have to hear your SH** for a month than ya Go BACK North !!


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## RuddeDogg (Mar 20, 2004)

LMAO!! Great post!!!!


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

fshnjoe said:


> That was the best write up I've seen in a long time!!  but ya left out the best factor ,We only have to hear your SH** for a month than ya Go BACK North !!


I've made so many friends here, that I've decided to buy the state of South Carolina. 

Remember, I said I like to tell the condensed version?


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## NC KingFisher (Nov 20, 2011)

If you do buy it, would it be in your philanthropic heart to let me borrow a stella? The fish sneer at my old penns even though they will beat the piss outa little snotty rich boy tackle


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

NC KingFisher said:


> If you do buy it, would it be in your philanthropic heart to let me borrow a stella? The fish sneer at my old penns even though they will beat the piss outa little snotty rich boy tackle












You've clearly missed a very big point here - fish don't respect budget tackle. You are fishing on the wrong side of the tracks, where only the "ghetto biters" will give you the time of day. I'm so successful, I hand out Stellas for stocking stuffers to all the kids at the YMCA. And let me just tell you this - most people can only dream of being as successful as I am. And what's more, talk is cheap. You've got to put up that old Penn, or shut up. Me and beady will be behind the Holiday Inn today at noon. Don't be a little girl. Show up with at least a grand in your pocket to lose. I just use money for wallpaper, but I still like taking it from people who don't have it anyway.


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## RuddeDogg (Mar 20, 2004)

"I've made so many friends here,"......YOU.....REALLY? Surely you jest....................lol


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## solid7 (Dec 31, 2010)

LOL... You just gotta go and make this about me, don't you? 






> If you took the time to meet & talk with me you might be surprised just how nice a guy I am.


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